Since tomorrow is Valentines Day, I am celebrating my veteran, my spouse, my husband, my love, my friend, and my soul mate. As many of you know, we just celebrated our 25th anniversary. I cannot believe it! It doesn’t seem that long. Every relationship has their ups and downs, ours was no different. However, I see so many people today treating their marriage as though it were a high school relationship. No one seems to honor their vows anymore. And when they get bored, they go find another partner. This is not us. I love him deeply. Despite only knowing him for 5 days before he proposed to me and then a month later we married. We just knew we were meant to be. We felt as though we were long lost friends catching up on old times. We fit together well. We were two halves to one soul. That’s the only way we can describe it.
The military tests relationships all the time. From long hours, training exercises, going to the field and deployments. Their stance on families is, “We didn’t issue you a family.” I was born into the military. I grew up moving around every four years. I knew what I was getting into when I married TheHubs. What I didn’t realize, and didn’t take me long to learn, was that the Army was worse than the Air Force. At least, that’s how I saw it. Being a child and growing up in the Air Force, you don’t see the same things as an adult/spouse would. I never realized how certain assignments and certain people treated my father until I spoke about what TheHubs had to deal with. Because I understood military life, I knew — and expected — to be uprooted whenever the Army needed him. Change was the only constant.
Some people cannot handle this. And I saw so many marriages fail because of the military. I also saw so many marriages fail because many did not want to grow up and get out of the high school mentality. Me, I was never really *IN* the high school mentality. I despised drama and so I never really fit in with any one crowd. I stayed away from drama in high school, and as well as I could while we were in the military.
When TheHubs started getting his migraines, when he came home from his last deployment, when his unit in Germany crushed his soul, he started changing. Things were harder to understand, to deal with, than they ever were before. Now that I am in a community of spouses who get what I am dealing with, I see so many more failed marriages. Even my husband asks why I stay. You know what I tell him? “Through richer for poorer, through sickness and in health.” Those were the words I uttered before God and everyone. I stand by them because I LOVE HIM. Just because it’s hard does not mean I give up. That which is worth anything is never easy!
Now that his pain levels are so high, his emotional levels so low, I treasure the small moments I get to see him smile. Really, TRULY smile. Because now I know when he wears his mask and I can always see the pain in his eyes. But there are moments. And I hold onto them with all my heart.
Thank you to our lovely host, Lexa Cain for taking over and continuing the Celebrate the Small Things blog hop. I would also like to thank her co-hosts, L.G. Keltner @ Writing Off The Edge and Katie @ TheCyborgMom – without them, I’m sure this would be a daunting task!
To be part of this blog hop, all you have to do is put your name on the linky list on Lexa’s Blog, and then post every Friday about something you’re grateful for that week. It can be about writing or family or school or general life. This is the funnest and easiest blog hop ever! (Originated by VikLit)